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My Wife GIF
Good luck with her, and good life to you. I let her know it's not healthy to expect someone else to change - we can only control ourselves and not others. They seriously have movies about it.
I feel sorry for you, not because your husbands are working so hard but because you gave up your own lives. Additionally, you need to take stock of your beliefs and acknowledge they may change overtime. Learn all you can. They're hidden pretty deep on LDS.